King Kong vs. Frankenstein

I recently was reminded of one of my all-time favorite unmade movies: KING KONG VS. FRANKENSTEIN. There isn't a whole lot of insight I can add to the page I just linked regarding the KING KONG VS. FRANKENSTEIN project, but I'll tell you how I learned about it. That's always fun, right?

I discovered plenty of interesting books lurking in my college library back when I was earning my degree. Two of them were were by Donald F. Glut: Classic Movie Monsters (1978) and The Frankenstein Catalog (1984). I studied both of those books thoroughly, and learned a LOT. Some of it proved inaccurate, but you have to start someplace to discover the true answers. Both are great books, even with the passage of time since their publication. Donald F. Glut definitely put me on the right path.

Anyway, I bring this up because it was in both books that I was exposed to KING KONG VS. FRANKENSTEIN. One fact that the page above perhaps selectively omits is that there was a middle title between KKVF and KING KONG VS. PROMETHEUS - KING KONG VS. THE GINKO. No, not exactly awe-inspiring. I believe the thought was that the monster's name was a derivation of Kong's name.

Well, as you probably know if you read the link, KING KONG VS. FRANKENSTEIN ultimately evolved into KING KONG VS. GODZILLA. But as much as I enjoy that film, I still find myself wondering, "What if?" regarding KING KONG VS. FRANKENSTEIN.

And Not Just in Texas, Either

I think every concert (rap, heavy metal, classical, teen idol, etc.) would be improved immeasurably if a cowboy in the back would stand up and yell "Cotton-Eyed Joe!" at some point during the show.

(Reference here.)

Doppelgirl: Peekaboo!

Remember when I told you in this entry that I had another Holiday Charity Art Drive pic coming? Well, here it is! Kabuki has delivered a delightful pin-up of the daring and devilish(?) Doppelgirl!

Those of you who remember Doppelgirl's profile may find this choice of mine especially amusing. I think Kabu really delivered the goods. And hey, if you like it, be sure to tell the lady yourself!

"Captain Of The Starship"

One Saturday night, not very long ago, I spent an entire evening watching K-Tel commercials on Youtube. Don't judge me! In the course of that marathon, perhaps the most amazing find was "Captain Of The Starship."

You're about to see for yourself this masterpiece, which features William Shatner at his most Shatneresque. I do think it's the music and the breathless narration that finally puts it over the top, though. It also refers to "his new feature film," which implies STAR TREK: THE MOTION PICTURE, but could just as easily be KINGDOM OF THE SPIDERS.

I passed this link along to Mike Sterling's Progressive Ruin after discovering it. It was picked up by Popgeek from there (marvel as I leave a comment using the word "think" three times in the same sentence!). Now, I'd like to share it with you.

Shelly Ericson by velvetluck

The nigh-omnipresent Kabuki Katze is the one who pointed me in the direction of the Canadian artist who uses the name "velvetluck" over on dA. I commissioned this talented young lady to draw a picture of my heroine Shelly Ericson, and this is the result. I think she did a fabulous job on Shelly. Don't you?

But don't just tell me about it - go tell velvetluck on her page for this piece. And while you're there, it couldn't hurt to peep out the rest of her gallery. Some great stuff is waiting for you if you do!

Wikipedia Has Nothing Of The Effects On Monster Island

One of my favorite parlor tricks that impresses no one is my ability to recite from memory the opening narration to the English version of GODZILLA VS. MEGALON. You know, this:

"In the first part of 1971, on a small island near the Aleutians, the second underground nuclear test took place. This is what happened![...]The effects of the explosion were widespread, even on faraway Monster Island in the South Pacific."

I typed that from memory, someone will surely want to check it for me.

One thing that always puzzled me about that opening was that it seemed to place the events of MEGALON in 1971. Fine and dandy, except for the small fact that the movie came out in 1973. Why set such a movie in the past?

Well, as I was doing some research for something else, I came across the answer. The reason is because that narration has basis in fact. There WAS an underground nuclear test on Amchitka, a "small island near the Aleutians," in 1971. Well, Amchitka is actually part of the Aleutians, the test was actually in November 1971, and it was the third such test there. Still, we can chalk those up to artistic license, simple mistakes, and/or garbled translation by the Hong Kong English dubbing crew.

Is this another one of those times where I missed a memo? Is this common knowledge in Godzilla circles and I missed it? What's most interesting is that the 1971 Cannikin test was (unless I am reading wrong) the last underground nuclear test conducted by the United States. So apparently, Goro and Jinkawa's warning worked, and the scientists listened. Somewhere in Seatopia, Emperor Antonio is smiling.

Batman Loves Devo

Last week, someone arrived at this blog via the greatest search term ever.

"batman loves devo"

You know, despite the fact that I love Batman and Devo, this thought had honestly never occurred to me. But? Yes, yes he does. Batman loves Devo. See?

But if you click on a link titled "Batman Loves Devo", I'm pretty sure I know exactly what you want. Well, I am more than happy to oblige you.

Firegirl Collaboration by Sara Duffield & Kabuki Katze (2007)

If you're thinking that this particular take on Firegirl looks vaguely familiar, it's not your imagination. You saw it in this picture earlier. The difference this time is that the lineart by Sara was colored by Kabuki. They made quite a team even in 2007, didn't they?

I'm not sure I was aware of it at the time, but this particular picture was a test run for something bigger. What? Well, you'll just have to wait until the next time we delve into the Cap Archives. Worry not, because it will be worth it.

It's A (Three Point) Shoot!

Back in the day, I used to love watching pro basketball and pro wrestling. My enthusiasm for both has faded considerably over the years, for entirely different reasons, but I still keep tabs on them. Who knows? I might still catch NBA fever again. (Pretty sure wrestling is a lost cause, but that's a whole other post)

One of the biggest stars in the contemporary NBA is LeBron James. If you pay any attention to pro hoops, you know all about the interesting turn that his career has taken recently. But it took reading a pro wrestling message board for it to dawn on me that it reads just like an excellent wrestling angle.

Think about it for a second. When James was playing for the Cleveland Cavaliers, he was the beloved hometown babyface who could never quite break through and win the title. So he schedules an interview where he reveals that he's changing his ways for the promise of more money and a title shot. The fans and his former allies feel betrayed, and boo their former hero after his "heel turn".

The best part is that, like all great wrestling heels, LeBron James is absolutely convinced that he is RIGHT. He even still has plenty of fans despite his "change of philosophy". And that just makes the fans that hate him all the more infuriated. I swear, most authentic wrestling angles are not booked as well these days as the LeBron to Miami Heat saga.

I'm not accusing LeBron James of being a bad guy or anything; I'm just remarking on the uncanny similarity to a classic wrestling storyline. However, if Cavs coach Byron Scott gets waylaid by a masked man wielding a steel chair the next time he faces the Heat, remember you read it here first.

Major City Mini-Heroes

Aren't Mini!Cap and Mini!Shelly the cutest things? They were created by the peerless Kabuki Katze as part of her "Holiday Charity Art Drive". The idea was, you donate money and you get art as a reward! It's a pretty sweet deal.

Because of my love for the world of comics, I chose to donate to the CBLDF. They are definitely an organization you should look into if you love the medium or your free speech rights.

I have one additional HCAD piece, but we'll save that for another day. Meanwhile, you can also peep this one out right here, and even check out other HCAD pieces in Kabuki's gallery! The HCAD is now over, but marvel at the results if you're thinking about participating when it rolls around again!

Green Sliiiiime

I have finally taken the plunge and ordered one of the custom DVDs produced as part of the Warner Archive Collection. As you undoubtedly realize, it was THE GREEN SLIME. I've been wanting THE GREEN SLIME on DVD for ages, and the October release of it through the Archive program guaranteed they would finally be getting a sale out of me. The question was when, and the answer was about a week or two ago.

THE GREEN SLIME is one of those fascinating, mixed-up productions that I find so endearing. Its two male leads (Robert Horton and Richard Jaeckel) are American. Its female lead (Luciana Paluzzi) is Italian. The premise is very loosely connected to a series of Italian SF movies featuring a space station called the Gamma I. But THE GREEN SLIME was filmed entirely in Japan, and was directed by Kinji Fukasaku. That means it falls under the heading of Japanese sci-fi despite nary an Asian face showing up on-screen.

And it is a hoot. I'm not going to get into plot details, but it's pretty blatantly absurd in spots. I am perfectly OK with this. It moves at a rapid enough clip that you aren't left with a lot of time to ponder the inherent plotholes even for a movie of this type. The art direction is colorful, the monsters are relentless and crazy, and the set pieces are exactly the sort of thing I love about old monster movies.

Then, there is the cast. The majority of them are folks unknown to the public at large, though a few (Robert Dunham, Kathy Horan, William Ross, Linda Miller) are well-known to me. Richard Jaeckel is probably the most famous person in the cast, and he is excellent as Vince Elliot. Luciana Paluzzi is attractive and gives a decent performance, but her accent is a little distracting considering she has the very whitebread name of "Lisa Benson". And then there is Robert Horton, portraying the most unlikeable courageous space hero ever seen.

Understand, I am far from unique in this opinion of Jack Rankin. Robert Horton might be the nicest guy on Earth, and he certainly is a decent actor, but his character comes across as a smug, arrogant jackass. It is genuinely disappointing that Jaeckel's character misses when he tries to paste him one, because it would have felt cathartic to me. To make matters worse, it's clearly obvious that he's right most of the time, and that his foil Vince is going to get the short end. It's just his attitude that grates, and it makes me wonder if it was inadvertent or if someone wanted to be clever.

The best summation of the character of Jack Rankin is the following exchange between Jack and General Thompson (Bud Widom). It is the first dialogue uttered by Rankin in the movie.

RANKIN: How are ya, Chief? It's been awhile.
THOMPSON: Not bad. Still putting on a little weight.
RANKIN: So I see. (emphasis added)

Ladies and gentlemen, Commander Jack Rankin!

If you are skittish about Warner Archive's custom DVD-Rs, let me put your fears to rest by saying that THE GREEN SLIME DVD is fabulous. It is that rare Archive title that is listed as being newly-remastered, and apart from some minor damage here and there, it looks pristine. I would hazard a guess that there were once plans to market it as a wide release DVD, but it's entirely possible the bottom dropping out of the retail market scuttled that idea. Too bad, but at least we now have the movie.

There are no extras included, which isn't surprising all things considered. Really too bad they didn't have a copy of the trailer they could have thrown on there, as it is a must. Don't take my word for it, see it here! I'm not going to complain about a product like this, but it would have been nice to have the chapter breaks selectable from a screen on the menu. However, at least there ARE chapters!

The packaging is really nice. Original poster artwork serves as the cover, the sleeve & case equal standard edition DVDs, and even the disc looks totally professional. It's only when you flip it over and see that it's purple that you can tell it's a DVD-R. And for the record, my older DVD player often has trouble playing burned DVDs, but it made it through THE GREEN SLIME without a hitch. Definitely a high end product.

So thank you Warner Archive, for doing such an impeccable job on one of my favorite movies. I'm definitely considering investigating other titles you have available.

And now, let's wrap things up with another deathless quote from General Thompson:

"And I'll be go to hell if I know what we're faced with!"

Took the words right out of my mouth, Chief!

German Expressionism In Music

No, this isn't going to be an in-depth study of the topic. Alas, I don't think I have the tools or knowledge to pull that off if it were my intention. We're just going to look at a pair of music videos that are influenced by the movement.

The Red Hot Chili Peppers are a band that I like, but can't say I love. I respect what they've done, but it's rarely among my favorite stuff. A notable exception is the song "Otherside". I find it absolutely transcendent. There's also the little matter of its official video.



"Otherside" by Red Hot Chili Peppers

In terms of pure execution, I usually cite this as my favorite music video ever. The use of German expressionism is really clever and gives it a unique flavor compared to most promo films. Plus, I like the balance between the band's performance (ingeniously realized) and the nominal storyline. The color, the effects, even the motion of this video is just a thing of beauty.

Of course, German expressionism extended beyond the art world into the film world.

Essentially Speaking

I've expressed my delight in the past with DC Comics' B&W "Showcase Presents" volumes, but I've always been more ambivalent regarding the "Essentials" by Marvel that led the way. Why the difference? I guess the Essentials, despite coming first and being what DC copied, were sort of half-baked in presentation. The paper was flimsy, and the reproduction was often lacking or just downright poor. I picked up a few volumes, but I was usually so unimpressed that I never bothered.

That has all changed in the last year or two. Many of the older Essentials have been redone, and the reproduction is dramatically improved. The paper stock is better. Bonus material prepared for the higher-end Masterworks has been added. I now own all 7 "Essential" volumes of The Avengers in their current editions, and I'm working my way through them. So far, I have yet to be let down in the quality department.

So, I'm giving Marvel a thumbs up for their current Essentials. Just don't quit now, guys!

There's A Starman Waiting In The Sky

And by golly, if he doesn't blow your mind, why not?

Here's the rest of my commission order from Sean Moore. I had a greyscale bust coming, but who should be the subject? My thoughts turned to characters primarily seen in B&W and I decided on Japanese superhero Starman (aka Supergiants). My affection for the those crazy movies should be well-known by now.

Sean did an outstanding job on the champion played by Ken Utsui. Plus, it turns out he had never seen any of the Starman films before I asked for the guy. So I'm responsible for him being exposed to those masterpieces. Very cool!

If you'd like to leave Sean some direct feedback, here's the place to do it.

The Forbidden Robby

I watched FORBIDDEN PLANET recently, for the first time in a long while. You know what? It's an excellent movie. Sure, it's a bit dated now, but it's also over 50 years old. There is so much to like about it regarding acting, score, spfx, and story. If you've never seen it, make an effort.

But wait, there actually is something else besides laudatory comments. I was impressed by the way the film's comedy relief was tied into a key plot element - the exoneration of Robby the Robot as possible culprit of the mysterious happenings. I call this "key" because Robby is a pretty obvious suspect, and logically speaking, there had to be a darn good reason to eliminate him. Otherwise, the rest of the cast either looks like dopes for not considering him, or they waste a lot of screen time chasing down a meaningless rabbit hole. I liked the solution to the problem, since it added extra meaning to the laughs.

I've also decided that the producers WANTED at least part of the audience to jump to the conclusion that Robby was responsible. The film's famous poster art depicts a much more malevolent-looking Robby the Robot than we ultimately got. The trailer, on the other hand, is quite plain that the "something" responsible isn't Robby. That makes it easy to chalk the poster up merely to artistic license.

That was what I'd always thought. Then I watched the special features on the DVD (my last viewing was on VHS in high school!). One of the special features was a pair of clips from the TV series MGM PARADE. Both clips use Walter Pidgeon to promote FORBIDDEN PLANET, but it's the second that is important here. The second clip introduces the audience to Robby the Robot. There's much in the segment that is familiar to anyone who's seen FORBIDDEN PLANET, but there's something different at the end.

Here, watch the clip and see.

OK, what do you make of that? It's a largely innocuous little bit, which even indulges in some tongue-in-cheek fourth wall breaking. Then it takes a downright sinister turn at the end. It seems to be implying something to any viewers of MGM PARADE considering checking out this new picture - Robby the Robot is not to be trusted.

Except, of course, there's nothing even vaguely similar to that in the movie (although it's another story in some later usages of the Robby character). A brilliant example of misdirection? Could be. I'm not familiar enough with the particulars to say for sure. But I'll just bet a lot of people immediately thought to themselves, "Yep, the robot did it," and felt very pleased with their deductive abilities as a result.

My World : Non-Supers, Part 2

Rudy Boemer : Rudy Boemer is the mayor of Major City, and something of a political maverick. He has a very blue collar approach to city governance, in line with his roots in Middleburg (largest metropolis in the Midwest). He has demonstrated a willingness to work with the superhero community, but he's still not completely sold on the concept of costumed do-gooders.

Whitney DeKalb : Whitney DeKalb is the great-granddaughter of Ladd DeKalb, founder of the trailblazing but perennial also-ran DeKalb Television Network. A member of the DeKalb Network board of directors, Whitney has been seeking a way to better compete with the Major Broadcasting System (MBS) and the United Broadcasting Company (UBC). She thinks she has finally found one by forging a strategic alliance with Mann Creations.

Albert Fannick : Albert "The Panic" Fannick is a basketball star who first rose to national prominence at Magnifica University on the west coast. Signed by the Major City Electrics out of college, Fannick has gone on to have a sensational pro hoops career. He is Shelly Ericson's favorite player, and possibly the only person in the world capable of rendering her starstruck.

Curt Koorey : Curt Koorey is more than just a disc jockey; he's an institution of the airwaves. A noted radio personality and voice actor, Koorey has spun records over the years from artists as diverse as Flint Nickell, the Wee Reptiles, Solar Cyclops, and the Scary Metal People. Disco Ball holds a personal grudge against him due to Koorey's refusal to add the works of Vance McGuire (Disco Ball's alter ego) to his playlist.

Jay Morita : Jay Morita is the Editor-in-Chief of The Major City Courier, the number one newspaper in both Major City and the country as a whole. Morita is known for his fearlessness and integrity, which is how he was able to survive the scandal that brought down reporter Roxanne Prize. Still smarting from his lapse in judgment in greenlighting Prize's story, Morita has been working hard to bolster the reputation of the Courier and fend off rival newspaper The Major City Progress.

Ivan Walters : Ivan Walters is a prominent film and television producer based in El Oceano. He is best known for producing the hit Cat-Man TV show, and the subsequent blockbuster movie series based on that comic book hero. Among his other credits are the TV series The Deacon and the cult classic sci-fi film The Blue Ooze. Paul Mann believes in Walters enough that he has been financing several of his recent projects.


In all honesty, there was never a plan to do another set of these, despite my labeling the first installment "Part 1" in August. That was purely an example of keeping my options open just in case. Good idea, huh?

At one point in the process of putting this together, there were 15 names on the list. I whittled that down as I went until I settled on the six you see here. I won't rule out using the others in future works, but I had nothing of any substance to write about them at this time. But heck, Jay Morita didn't make the cut in the first go-round and I found a way to use him here. Anything's possible.

As far as the characters themselves, they all create story possibilities. They incorporate bits and pieces of reality (care to guess where?), but mostly, they are around to fill in the details of the crazy world of Captain Satellite and friends.

Captain Satellite and Firegirl: Break-Up, Team-Up

A couple of things I should tell you up-front. First, one of my resolutions is not to let my commissions build up before they are posted here. Sometimes, it would be weeks after a picture's completion before it made it here, and this simply will not do. Second, there is no way the small version does this picture any kind of justice. You simply must click it to revel in the full-sized majesty.

After pursuing some smaller projects with Kabuki Katze recently, I was ready to approach something a bit bigger. The high concept of this piece is that it depicts two separate but related moments in time for characters Captain Satellite and Firegirl. The top panel shows the unhappy moment when their one-time romance (prior to any costumed do-gooding for either of them) crumbled under the weight of plot turns not yet fully-revealed. The main event, however, is the very next time their paths crossed: as a pair of superheroes battling Third World and the threat of the Macro Warriors.

I am ridiculously pleased with the result of this commission. Kabuki took my ideas and ran with them, embellishing them and making the final product even better as a result. She conveyed a lot of emotion necessary for something like this to work, and made it dynamic and exciting, too. It was her decision to visualize the flashback as a comic book panel, and she pulled it off with aplomb and authenticity.

One of my more interesting requests for this picture was that I asked Kabu to draw firearms for our heroes. At last, Cap gets to brandish the "Multi-Gun" which has been part of his concept forever and ever, but not seen in years. (Where does he carry it? Digitally!) And though Firegirl's "Pyro Pistol" has been largely relegated to the background, I did want her to be packing it at such an early stage in her career.

Let's have a round of applause for the delightful Kabuki Katze! Or, alternately, you could comment here or on her gallery page for this piece!

Apparently, I'm Not As Jaded As I Thought

This past Thursday, I had reason to travel from that major metropolis of Lake Charles to that even more major metropolis of Lafayette. Today, I will share with you an observation I made during the trip.

The bulk of my journey was on Interstate-10. This section of I-10 is not especially remarkable as interstates go. However, there are two adult bookstores between the LC and Lafayette at Exits 72 and 80. I remember this mainly because of the plethora of signs along the way reminding me of this pair of jokers. Each of these adult stores are located essentially in the middle of nowhere (except for their proximity to the highway), and both are open 24 hours a day. I don't know about you, but this is not a recipe for encouraging me to drop in and check things out - especially after dark. The guy dancing in the truckstop restroom at 10:45 PM was bad enough, thanks.

The copious signage for Exit 80's store promised among other luxuries that it had "60 viewing rooms". Permit me to recreate for you my internal monologue as I passed this fine establishment:

"Wait, that building doesn't look big enough to have 60 roo...Oh. Oh."

Clearly, I do not think enough like a filthy, disgusting pervert. That's good to know.

The Art of Sean Moore

We've talked about the killer artwork of Sean Moore in the past, and you've seen a number of examples, too. Today, we're going to look at some more work he recently completed for me.

Here we see Golden Age characters Cat-Man and Kitten, but with a difference. These are technically cards of Bruce Chase and Eve East from my fictitious Cat-Man TV series. I asked Sean to use Adam West and Yvonne Craig in their Batman days for inspiration, with perhaps a little William Shatner thrown into the mix for Cat-Man. I think he absolutely nailed it.

But Cat-Man and Kitten weren't the only characters I asked Sean to draw for me.

R.I.P. Gerry Rafferty

We interrupt our regularly-scheduled blogging to bring you a special commemorative post. Gerry Rafferty has passed away at the age of 63.

I have expressed my affection for "Baker Street" in the past, both here and elsewhere. But truthfully, I enjoyed all of Gerry Rafferty's assorted projects from across the decades. I own the most "complete" Greatest Hits CD anthology of his work, and I find it both fascinating and entertaining. I listen to it a lot more often than I do stuff I own by more famous artists. Part of that is because it's harder to hear it otherwise, but there's also the fact that I just flat out love it.

After some of the stories that had circulated during the last couple of years, I can't say I'm terribly shocked by Gerry Rafferty's passing. That doesn't make me any less saddened by it. So, here's to you, Mr. Rafferty. You made wonderful music, and I think that was what was most important to you in the end.

Did Igadevil Die?

No, Virginia, Igadevil is alive and well and back where he belongs - on our Internet, dazzling us once again.

Yes, that's right, Igadevil's Kamen Rider Page has returned with a vengeance, and he's looking to Rider Kick his way back into your heart with the sort of henshin-powered excitement you crave. Plus, the year 2011 is the 40th anniversary of the Riders! I'll just bet he has great stuff in store to celebrate such a milestone!

So check it out already, and tell him that OWARI sent ya! (I might get that bribe money yet!)

Seoul Driver

I mentioned this on my Twitter account the other night, but it deserves to appear on the blog itself. There has been a subtle subplot developing here since the Stats came into play, and it translated into an amazing number of hits on New Year's Eve into New Year's Day. I am speaking of the perhaps surprising fact that my number #2 country for pageviews behind the United States is...South Korea.

Why South Korea? I have no earthly idea. I have discussed Korean stuff here, but I can't imagine DEFENDERS OF SPACE and THUNDER PRINCE driving visitors here. I don't even know who is out there in the country, though they apparently urged friends to show up a couple of days ago.

So anyway, I just wanted to give a shout out to my South Korean reader or readers. I appreciate your interest in whatever this blog accomplishes. Feel free to let me know what you think!

Oh, and if Babelfish didn't lie to me, here is a message to you:

환영받은 친구

2010 Was Lotsa Laffs Too

* I have never had the courage to wear a shiny shirt with an open collar coupled with a shark tooth pendant. I met a man this year who has no such hang-up.

* I watched Richard Roundtree fight a forklift...and WIN!

* I learned that no one can deny the pink sombrero, especially when it is accompanied by an adorable child.

* While watching IRON MAN special features, I asked: Has anyone thought to redub some of the Iron Monger scenes with dialogue from THE BIG LEBOWSKI? Because Iron Dude would rule.

* I guaranteed that there was no ruler short enough to measure how little I care about Megan Fox, TRANSFORMERS 3, or whether the twain shall meet.

* When you tell people to fear your Star Wars disco CD, they do.

* I revealed that I know the Muffin Man. He gives me cookies. I don't get it.

* I got a captcha that read "Paffenbarger strap." That still sounds...filthy.

* I decided every movie would be improved immeasurably if the climax involved Kamen Rider Diend summoning Kamen Rider J.

* I replaced the chant in the Bay City Rollers' "Saturday Night" with "H-A-T-E-R-A-D-E! Punch!"

* I had a dream about riding shotgun when someone abandoned Alan Moore at a gas station.

* I was startled to find that I was tired of hearing about sex tapes.

* I partied like it was 1999 - in other words, with Martin Landau & Barbara Bain.

FAVORITE OUT-OF-CONTEXT QUOTE, SECOND RUNNER-UP

"Accessories not for use with smaller Shogun Warriors."

FAVORITE OUT-OF-CONTEXT QUOTE, FIRST RUNNER-UP

"Fits any hamster."

FAVORITE OUT-OF-CONTEXT QUOTE, GRAND PRIZE

"Gonads are useful for their purpose, but they are no substitute for brains."--Paul Harvey. Good day!