You know of OWARI's erstwhile mascot and devil-may-care bon vivant EL BEARDO, but are you aware of the following facts?
1) EL BEARDO's lavender 1973 AMC Gremlin does not run on conventional fuel, but rather on EL BEARDO's pure undistilled charisma.
2) EL BEARDO auditioned for the lead role in the film BOOGIE NIGHTS, but was rejected for being "insanely overqualified."
3) EL BEARDO once shaved a picture of Norman Fell into the chest hair. What? Mr. Roper was hilarious!
4) EL BEARDO has built a small fort comprised entirely of Mad Dog 20/20 bottles. It is located in Pitkin, Louisiana.
5) EL BEARDO appears as if by magic if you say the name three times.
6) EL BEARDO has been known to stare at breakfast burritos like they are an orgasm about to happen.
7) EL BEARDO has a leprechaun for a friend. His name is Clancy.
8) Some nights, EL BEARDO wears shorts made of meat. Watch out!
9) EL BEARDO's swimming pool is filled with the bitter tears of enemies.
10) EL BEARDO uses the bald pate of arch-nemesis Dr. Knobular as a shammy.
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